I read this sentence recently (forget where) and it’s stuck with me this week, playing over and over in my head:
“In life, we don’t get what we want, we get what we think we deserve.”
Wow. It’s so heavy when you really stop to think about what it means. What I want, vs. what I think I deserve. This brings into question how hard we are on ourselves, how negative we can be and how we deny ourselves things that we DO want, and DO deserve…but that on some level, we think that we don’t.
Examples:
“I want a clean and tidy house, but I am just not motivated enough to make it happen (and so I deserve this mess).”
“I want a child who is well behaved and good mannered; but I am not a very good mother (and so deserve a child who is difficult to control).”
“I want to spend more quality time with my kids, but there are just too many other things to get done (and so I haven’t *earrned* it and don’t deserve it).”
” I want to take a break from pumping, cut back a bit or stop altogether but this is selfish and not what the *best* moms do (and so I must continue around the clock).”
“I want to be able to take a break from parenting and have some “me time,” but (again) this is selfish and not what the *best* moms do (and so I don’t deserve it).”
I want a partner who loves me unconditionally; but I am flawed in many ways (and so deserve the judgement and unfaithfulness).”
Do you see how we can defeat ourselves and in doing so, not have, and maybe NEVER have, the life that we want?
In this New Year of 2018, we need to start changing our thinking. We need to think about what we want and how we’re going to get it, and not come up with reasons or excuses why it can’t be that way. We need to give ourselves permission to make these change, and move forward and achieve our goals.
Only you can give yourself this permission.
So what do you want…in regards to baby feeding, motherhood, and for your life in general? Take a minute and really think about this. Write a few things down. And then give yourself permission to get what you want.
Here are a few self permissions that could probably help us all:
1. I give myself permission to take breaks and rest.
2. I give myself permission to make mistakes, learn from them, and move on.
3. I give myself permission to step out of my comfort zone.
4. I give myself permission to fulfill my lifelong dreams.
5. I give myself permission to not feel responsible for other peoples’ happiness.
6. I give myself permission to listen to my gut when it tries to tell me that something isn’t right.
7. I give myself permission to create—paint, play an instrument, compose songs, knit, and so on.
8. I give myself permission to release the past.
9. I give myself permission to be OK (and maybe eventually happy) with where I am now.
10. I give myself permission to get what I want out of this life.
What permissions do you need to give yourself this year?
May 2018 be the year of self forgiveness, self love, forward momentum, appreciation and joy. Happy New Year!